Tag Archives: comedy

Weekly Writing Prompt: BFFs

26 Sep

Well it’s that time of the week. The time of the week where I do my own weekly writing prompt and just hope that people love it. I won’t lie, even after doing some reading in a field I’m not use to, hello Astrophysics for People in a Hurry, I still wasn’t sure what I was going to write about. I was stumped to be honest. I found myself questioning if I can up with something that may be a bit too challenging?

I then decided nah, that wasn’t the case. This is just writing practice and practice is what every good author and writer needs. So I sat down, spun in my chair multiple times and thought about things that could be fun to write as I continued to get dizzier and dizzier. In the end, this is what I came up with:

Bob and Dan had been friends over the past thirteen years. It all started on a fateful summer evening, many years ago. Both Bob and Dan had made the mistake of dating two women that were secretly in to one another and were looking for a way to date in private. Both of the women’s families had disapproved of homosexuality in any form and so both of them were looking for a way to date without said families knowing. Enter Bob and Dan.

Bob had met his date while working in a local junkyard. He was a stout man in his early thirties and he was happy working in the yard. Bob had left high school to take over the place but soon found that his father did not think as highly of himself as Bob did, and so the junkyard business went to his older brother instead of him. However, Bob was not deterred and felt with enough work and dedication, one day his brother would get bored of the company and just give it to him. By the time Bob met his date for the evening, that plan still hadn’t taken effect yet. However, Bob’s inability to operate the crane correctly, which in turn saved the car his date was trying to rescue a lost bag out of, and his overall dim-witted charm, allowed for him to land his date for the evening.

Now in Dan’s sad case, many felt that his date had taken pity on him or was trying to use him to get a better grade in the course he was teaching out in the community college. Dan was a man with a plan that went down in a ball of flame. He went and got his doctorates and believed he would be a voice of real change in the world at a prestigious university. He had studied and devoted his life to history, wanting to find some error that historians made about World War II that make him the most prominent figure on the subject. Sadly, his life work went up flames as most people felt his research made him look like a nazi sympathizer over anything else. In shame, he returned home and began teaching at a local community college. In his time there, he packed on a hefty belly and watched sadly in a mirror as his hair left his head, only to reappear on his chest. Sometimes he would eat ice-cream in front of said mirror while having himself a good cry. His life was miserable and so that is why many believed his date wanted a better grade in his course over an actual date with the man.

So on that same evening thirteen years ago, Bob and Dan were introduced at a local bar and while their dates left them to go talk with each other, Bob and Dan slowly began their lifelong friendship. It started with Bob complaining about the bar having sports on because he didn’t really care and would rather be watching game shows. Dan launched in a bit on the history of game shows, since they were also a favorite pass time of his. Before you knew it, both men went from talking about game shows to their general disdain of sports, how they preferred mix drinks over beer, and how both had never been to Utah.  That summer night turned out to be a magical night for both the two men and their dates.

 

 

 

So that is just the start of a story and one that I may flush out and expand upon later on. The reason I decided to write about these two men is due to the fact that I plan on having similar characters show up in my current manuscript. Now the reason I did that is because my current manuscript is meant to be a dystopian horror novel but I wanted to be able to add a bit of myself to the piece.

Now with any writing, we all put a bit of ourselves into any work. With this example, it comes from a guy that ended up hanging out with me and my friends for an evening after his date ditched him. We didn’t become life long friends or anything like that, in fact, after that night I haven’t heard from him since, but nonetheless it did inspire the story. But anyway. The reason I say this is because with my manuscript I wanted to write to fun and lovable characters that could periodically appear throughout the series. Since most of my writing is dark and the characters more serious, this was the perfect time for me to try writing out a fun setting with some lovable losers.

So that’s basically how this story came to be. It was practice for me to leave my comfort zone of horror and science fiction, which is what this writing prompt was all about. What did you write this week? Feel free to comment below with a link and I’d be happy to read it and share my thoughts as well!

 

Advertisements

A Walk in the Park

8 Aug

So the other night things were strange when I went for a walk through our park alone. It has been a long week now and I’m apparently a part of a new club that I’m not completely fond of, but it was that or death. What a pain.

It all started about a week ago. I had decided it was a good time to take my german shepherd, Oscar, for a walk through a park nearby. I had just begun to get back into Pokemon Go and thought well hell, maybe there will be some stops and gyms there. It was a relatively cool evening for July so I decided to just go in the t-shirt and basketball shorts I had been wearing since my romp in the gym.

We got to the park pretty quick in my opinion. I think it was a mix of Oscar’s 80 pounds of excitement pulling me and just my general enjoyment of being outside. It was a quiet night, with a soft breeze gently ruffling my wavy black hair. Oscar began pulling me immediately towards the sidewalk that ran through the center of the park. If there is one thing that dog knew, it was his walking routes.

So we began walking this route and right away something felt uneasy. Almost as if it was out of a horror movie, well a low budget horror movie. In typical fashion, the lights lining the park began either dimming or going out all together and the only thought that crossed my mind was well that’s odd. I looked down and checked and sure enough I had my running sneakers on, in which I was grateful I had remembered to wear them today. In from of me, Oscar just kept strutting forward, tongue hanging happily out of his mouth while he swung his dopey head back and forth looking around. He didn’t care that someone was coming after us.

Sure enough, I was right and as if it was queued up in a terrible slasher film, all the lights went out in the park at once. I could feel my heart-rate starting to rise and in my head my inner monologue could only say boy howdy, we’re in trouble now. I began to pick up my pace, which got Oscar excited and he began to speed up as well. I love that dog but damn he isn’t the best at taking hints that everything may not be okay.

We’re about three quarters of the way through the park at this point when I hear the chanting begin. Now I’m not one hundred percent sure on what they were saying, but I’m pretty confident it was something along the lines of “Come with us. Fall with us. Die with us.” At this point, I had turned around and saw a bunch of hooded yahoos, faces completely covered and a weird symbol on their hoods walking my way. The symbol looked to be glowing and I’m pretty sure it was a crescent moon with an X behind it or something along those lines. At this point it didn’t matter, I said nope in my head and Oscar and I took off. Somehow that damn pooch didn’t notice the whole thing. Finally, we both get home panting and out of breath and we decide it’s best to just lock all the doors to our apartment and go to bed.

The next day I woke up with the damndest thing in my brain and it stuck with me all day. I really felt like I had misjudged those guys. Sure they seemed like evil cultists and all, but like, who am I to judge? So I decided after work I would go, this time without Oscar because I didn’t want anything to happen to him, and see what they were all about.

So let’s just fast forward to where I’m at now and I’ll give you the highlights as I go. Apparently, these hooded men wearing black robes with a blue symbol on their head were cultists. Now you may be thinking, well how’d you fuck that up dipshit? and let me just explain, I thought maybe they were like the people from the tv that were walking and yelling with tiki torches and if that was the case I had a size 13 foot to put up their asses. Screw them is what I have to say about that and I was hoping that was what was going to be the case with this group.

Turns out I was wrong and they worship some sort of ancient entity called D’mur’buden’mka but don’t even ask me how to pronounce it. I told them that was pretty neat and all but I had to go home and take care of some other business. I didn’t mention Oscar because I didn’t want them to hurt him. I offered to get drinks with them sometime soon though, but somehow that translated into threatening me with some funky looking blades and pushing me into a secret part of the park where they had their club set up.

I’m now writing all this because they forced me to drink what they said was blood out of a goblet. Now I’ve never drank blood before but I’m about ninety percent sure what I drank was probably blood. So now I’m sitting here writing in this journal in my own hooded robe. I was told I had to write my story so that D’mur’buden’mka can get to know who I am from his eternal hell dimension that they’re trying to release him from. Oh well, I’m told as long as I cooperate I can go about my daily life, I just have to report here every night and help with their rituals. I’m not terribly excited but hey, what else can you do with a knife to your back?

What a pain.